…and I couldn’t be more terrified. But, we’ll to why in just a bit.
Life is crazy right now, trying to get through finals and everything. The show is really picking up, so that’s keeping me insanely busy when I’m not hitting the books. And when I’m not hitting the books or at rehearsal, I’m prepping for SAT Subject Tests and the third round of the ACT (which fall right around finals - super). I just have to keep reminding myself that I only have eleven more days of junior year. In those eleven days, I have to get through two huge presentations, six finals, four standardized tests and a slew of grad parties. Breathe, just breathe.
And now, for why I’m scared about summer. Spending it at Carnegie, of course. But, what if I go, and it turns out that I have no talent? Or that I have some small amount of talent, but just not enough to make it? Or what if everyone has done Summer Stock theatre, and I’m this dumb country girl with no experience or knowledge? I just don’t know what to expect. All I know is that I want to be good. No, I want to be fucking amazing. I want to knock people’s socks off, make people jealous, make people cry, change people’s lives. And maybe I’ll get there. And maybe I won’t. But if I don’t get there, where will I end up?
However much stress and anxiety I have right now, it is sunny and gorgeous and we must celebrate.
Sun Away My Stress Playlist -
I Got Rhythm - Gene Kelly
Kiss the Girl - Colbie Caillat
I Can’t Lie - Maroon 5
Gold Mine - Breanne Duren
I Have You to Thank - Gavin DeGraw
Tied Down - Colbie Caillat
Something Pretty - Patrick Park
I hope the end-of-year stress is being kept at bay for you, lovelies! xoxoxo
School: My AP English Language and Comp exam is OVER and I no longer care about the rest of the year. Like, super really do not care at all.
Glee: Amazing. SO glad that Jon Groff is back (my ovaries screamed when he came on-screen. Like, really). But even more glad that they continue to send positive messages about being yourself and not only being okay with, but telling the world who you are, whether the world wants to hear it or not. Such a positive message, and definitely one that our generation needs to hear over and over again.
Life: Busy, busy girl with rehearsals, school wrapping up, and classes. Getting so excited about Carnegie and summertime!
I don’t get the whole relationship thing (at least not at my age!). What is so special about baring your soul to someone while you should be focused on school, and college auditions, and your upcoming voice recital, and your looming AP test? I owe him nothing. I promised him nothing but me, and when that was what he got, he wanted something else. He wanted me to change. And you know what? I don’t fucking change for anyone.